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Human stupidity
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
- On a blanket from Taiwan
- NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO
- On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
- REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
- On a Taiwanese shampoo
- USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
- On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
- AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
- On a New Zealand insect spray
- THIS PRODUCT WAS NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
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- In a US guide to setting up a new computer
- TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
- In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
- OPEN OTHER END.
- On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
- WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
- On a Sears hairdryer
- DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
- On a bag of Fritos
- YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
- On a bar of Dial soap
- DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom ofthe box)
- DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
- PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
- On a Korean kitchen knife
- WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
- On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
- FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
- On a Japanese food processor
- NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
- On Sainsbury's peanuts
- WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts
- INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
- On a Swedish chainsaw
- DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
- On a child's superman costume
- WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
- On some frozen dinners
- SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
- On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
- FITS ONE HEAD.
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron
- DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
- On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
- DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
- On Nytol sleep aid
- WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
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